How I Work
You Probably Don't Need Another Way to Work Harder on Yourself.
You already think deeply. You notice patterns. You analyze what happened, why you reacted that way, what you should have done differently, and what you're going to do next time.
And yet, when anxiety spikes, someone is disappointed in you, uncertainty takes over, or life gets overwhelming, knowing better doesn't always make responding differently any easier.
That's the gap we're interested in.
My approach to therapy is active, experiential, and grounded in Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT)—a repeatable framework for helping you respond more flexibly to what shows up inside you while continuing to move toward what matters to you.
THE FOUNDATION OF MY WORK
ACT. Like the Verb.
Acceptance and Commitment Therapy is usually shortened to ACT, and we pronounce it “act,” not A-C-T.
Because ultimately, this work is about how you act when life gets difficult. What happens when your mind tells you I can't disappoint them? When uncertainty makes you want to check one more time? When guilt shows up the moment you consider saying no? When your inner critic insists you should be doing more? When your body is screaming something is wrong even though another part of you knows you're okay?
ACT isn't about eliminating those thoughts, feelings, sensations, or urges before you can live differently.
It's about building the psychological flexibility to notice what's happening, make room for what's difficult, unhook from the thoughts and rules pulling you around, reconnect with what matters, and choose how you want to respond.
Not perfectly. Intentionally.
What does that actually look like?
The Situation Changes. The Framework Travels With You.
Imagine you've finally set a boundary with someone you care about. They aren't happy about it.
Immediately, your mind gets busy:
-Maybe I was too harsh.
-I should explain.
-They're going to think I'm selfish.
-I could just make an exception this time...
Your stomach tightens. Guilt shows up. You feel an almost irresistible urge to fix the discomfort by apologizing, overexplaining, or abandoning the boundary altogether.
ACT doesn't require you to convince yourself that the other person isn't disappointed. Maybe they are.
Instead, we become interested in something different:
-Can you notice what's happening?
-Can you make room for the discomfort instead of immediately organizing your behavior around escaping it?
-Can you notice what your mind is telling you without automatically treating every thought as an instruction?
-Can you reconnect with the kind of person you want to be in this relationship?
And from there:
-What do you want to do next?
THE TOWARD-MOVE APPROACH
Less “What Should I Do?” More “What Am I Moving Toward?”
When life gets uncomfortable, all of us make Away Moves, things we do to reduce, avoid, control, or escape difficult internal experiences in the short term.
For high-achieving women, Away Moves don't always look obviously unhealthy. They can look like working harder. Overpreparing. People-pleasing. Reassurance-seeking. Overexplaining. Staying productive. Avoiding conflict. Trying to make the perfect decision. Or solving everyone else's problems before attending to your own.
ACT helps us get curious about those patterns rather than judging them.
And then we begin practicing Toward Moves: intentional actions connected to your values and the way you want to participate in your life, even when discomfort comes along.
A Toward Move might be setting the boundary while allowing guilt to be present. Resting while your mind insists you haven't earned it. Making the decision without obtaining perfect certainty. Letting someone have their own feelings without immediately trying to manage them.
The goal isn't to make the “right” move every time.
It's developing enough flexibility to recognize that you have a choice.
EXPERIENTIAL, NOT PERFORMATIVE
We're Not Just Going to Talk About Doing Something Different. We're Going to Practice It.
Sessions with me are conversational, collaborative, and experiential.
As patterns show up, we'll slow down and get curious about what's happening, not just in the story you're telling me, but right now.
-What did your mind just say?
-What happened in your body when you said that?
-What are you feeling an urge to do?
-What happens if we don't immediately obey that urge?
We might use an ACT metaphor, pause for an experiential exercise, notice a physical response, explore an internal conflict, or try a different way of staying with an emotion.
And yes, sometimes I'll suggest that you “try it in the wild and report back.” Not because you need more homework. Because real life is where the framework becomes yours.
We notice. We experiment. You try. We get curious about what happened. We adjust. We repeat.
Over time, the goal is for therapy to become less about remembering what Emily told you to do and more about having a framework you know how to return to yourself.
ONE FOUNDATION. DIFFERENT WAYS INTO THE WORK.
Because You Are More Than the Thoughts in Your Head.
ACT provides the primary framework for my work, but people don't experience life intellectually. We experience it through our bodies, emotions, histories, relationships, and the different parts of ourselves that learned how to protect us.
That's why I also draw from somatic and experiential approaches, Internal Family Systems (IFS), and Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) when they support the work we're doing.
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We pay attention to how stress, anxiety, shame, overwhelm, and protective patterns are showing up in your body and present-moment experience, not simply the story about them.
That might mean noticing tension, shutting down, bracing, the urge to overexplain, difficulty resting, or what happens physically when you consider doing something differently.
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When it feels like different parts of you want completely different things.
One part wants to rest. Another insists you should keep going.
One part wants the boundary. Another is terrified of disappointing someone.
Rather than treating those responses as evidence that something is wrong with you, we can approach them with curiosity and compassion and explore what they may be trying to protect.
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When the pattern shows up between you and the people you care about.
We can slow down the emotional and relational patterns underneath people-pleasing, over-functioning, conflict avoidance, shutdown, fear of rejection, or difficulty expressing what you need.
The goal isn't to become less emotional or endlessly independent. It's to develop more awareness and choice in how you show up in connection with other people.
THE RED DOOR APPROACH
Different Problem. Same Place to Begin.
The situation might be completely different from one week to the next.
Your boss sends an email that sends your brain spinning.
Your partner is disappointed with you.
You're exhausted but can't let yourself rest.
An intrusive thought demands certainty.
You realize you've said yes to something you absolutely did not want to do.
You're criticizing yourself for not handling any of this “better.”
We don't need a completely different therapeutic formula for every difficult moment.
We return to the framework.
What's happening right now?
What is your mind, body, or protective system urging you to do?
Can we approach that experience with curiosity rather than immediately fighting it?
What matters to you here?
What response moves you toward the way you want to live?
Notice. Make space. Get curious. Reconnect. Choose.
Again and again, not because you're trying to perform therapy correctly, but because repetition is how a framework becomes something you can actually use.
THIS APPROACH MAY RESONATE IF...
You're Ready for More Than Understanding Why.
You may appreciate this way of working if you're highly self-aware but keep getting pulled into the same patterns; you're tired of fighting with your thoughts, emotions, or body; you want therapy to be active and experiential without becoming another list of assignments; or you want a framework you can eventually carry with you beyond the therapy room.
You don't need to arrive knowing anything about ACT, somatic therapy, IFS, or EFT.
That's my job.
Your job is to show up as you are and be willing to get curious about what happens next.
READY TO EXPERIENCE THERAPY DIFFERENTLY?
Therapy can be a place to understand the patterns that have helped you survive, practice responding differently when they show up, and build a framework you can return to when life inevitably gets messy again.
If you're looking for active, experiential therapy grounded in ACT and designed for real life, we can start by seeing whether working together feels like the right fit.
You Don't Need Another Way to Become Better at Pushing Through.
Want to learn more about working together one-on-one?